Best beating heart

The slower time goes, the more comfortable I am. The idea of having as much time as I need reassures me and enables me to think as clearly as I would like. Although this is very much of a consuming process, it's the only way I feel comfortable. Obviously, I'm as reckless as hell. Everything I do is rushed. From my stomping footsteps, colliding speech, hasty disorganization, and urgent complexity. Heck, I even Dance too quickly. Who'd know that All of those times I've appease to the lack of reservation have depth? Although there's no reason, perhaps I am under the impression that I am simply running out of time for anything. In retrospect, the majority of my life seems to be a blur. Everything seems to have been so hasty that I have no recollection of when events have happened. Additionally so, it seems that I have a huge nerve for the idea of having others wait on me, if only I knew why. It's the least bit comprehendible how I am terribly concerned with courtesy and swift actions now. No wonder I'm such a dimly lit mess everyday! This honestly explains my constant unawareness, though. I don't feel so bad not having an idea what is going on anymore.. At least it's not because I'm stupid, like I theorized. I guess I should just try to slow my roll. Wow. Self-epiphany at it's best, guys! Honestly, this revelation is the solution to so many problems I have!

In fact, it seems to have explained my lack of a productive summer as well. No lie, I've been beating myself up for doing close to "nothing" and slug around all day. I took forever to get ANYTHING done. It took me about 3 days just to DECIDE when to sign up for Drivers Ed. It took about more time for to decide what to eat rather than to eat the meal itself. Heh. I was such a cold chicken. I suppose that in a sense, my taking time to kick back over the summer was well needed. It's sort of a subconscious insurance plan when I really think about it, really. I'm definitely aware that one of biggest downfalls are from rushing up things. Perhaps my stronger, subconscious mind decided to do something about it and brought me to slow down. Although it feels like I was at a halt, in reality, it feels like I did so much for myself. I now am starting to see that my summer wasn't a waste at all, and everything had a ulterior plan (created by my sub-conscience and not a religious being). I basically gave myself time to rethink all of the factors in my life and caught up with the game, but this time cleaned up with a good slate.

Okay. It's settled, no more rushed Katrina. I'm slowing down. Thinking things through, I don't need to rush and I shouldn't feel obligated to give into things when I do, otherwise I'm just suppressing myself. Jeez Katrina, calm down. This makes so much sense now, all of those times my teachers have yielded me!!!