I

For satisfaction, 

I would never guessed I would turn to this. Self-harming thoughts. Before, this idea was just nonsense. I never even gave it any thought, I felt that it was for the pathetic, those who have fallen under the pressure of minimal living. Now, more than often I find myself feeling so terribly disgusted by all that surrounds me. This face, this hairdo, this room, this skin, these body parts- I can't stand them. Sometimes, I think that if I was my own child, I'd abuse me.  I can't take it. Things scarcely register with me anymore.I am at an utter standstill. I am a lump in the concrete. I am the moronic insect who's gotten stuck in the black widow's web. 

Arund the same time fram each day, a feeling of laziness and incability takes over me. I become listless and melancholy, all I want to do is lay crawled up on my bedroom floor. I'd rather not have much outside interaction, and I truly would rather be at home alone. I'm fine. I like it when it's quiet. Everything is so much harder when you feel this way. I'm too tired for noise. I'm too tired to eat. I'm too tired to be tired. I'm too tired to pick up where things have left off. i'm just way too tired.