Hmmm....

Is it just me.. or am one of the few ones who have just changed from being the type that would live for all of the typical school popularity activities to being the type that only stay home, waiting for something better to come my way? (Thanks, Karen btw -__-) But yeah.. even the fact that after that last day of school, I won't be seeing the majority of the people that I've spent two years going to school with again and it hasn't really phased me. At least not yet. The only thing that made me really miss or start to realize what was ending, were the messages that my wonderful teachers have written for me in my yearbook. Honestly, I no longer mind about friends, the next dance at school, or the big hang out which seems like EVERYBODY is attending. I even think I'll miss my teachers more than the students at that old school. The more I think about it, in a way, I'm finally growing up. 

  But at the same time, is that really true? As much as I'd like to believe it, I think a apart of me still cares about popularity and all of the things I used to do or like, no matter how much it seems like a waste of time to me now. I remember when taking pictures of myself took up a whole chunk of my time, and how I used to carry around a camera around all day. I also remember when I would freak out if I couldn't have a camera or cell phone that was in my possession, fearing just that person would text me and I'd miss out on some vital detail of gossip or something like that. Heck, I even came from 200+ contacts, into having only like,25 and a lot of them I dont feel are that important, in my overall life, Sorry.

        In way, I know no matter what I do, that side of me will still be here. It trips me out how I used to spend at least an hour or two on the phone with a friend, or even staying up late to talk to someone on the phone. Now, the idea seems weird or foreign to me yet again, and I dislike the idea in many ways. Before, the door to my house was always open to my friends no matter the occasion, but now I don't really feel the same way, and I don't even get the urge to go out anymore, unless its something more special. It's funny because just months ago, or at least before this last school year started, I used to have a schedule of Saturdays packed with plans for going out and everything. We used to go to the movies every weekend but now we don't even keep our 'plans' to go see one at all. I used to dislike the nagging of my mother about not spending enough time playing with my toddler little brother or doing this or that around the house and now I noticed I dont even hear it all. Sure, she still yells about its just about something I made a mistake on or some crap like that. 

      It's very funny how change is such a big part of our lives. There is no US, with out change, in matter of fact. You understand why? Because, before every us was a we. And before every we, there was a me. And right now, I guess I'm trying to find out my me again and keep it that way, because after all,

There is no single person that can stay with us through out our lives and adventures or quests, except for our own selves. Nobody can stay with you always, except for of course, yourself.