I don't know how many times I've said this, but I truly did not expect that to be the person that I am now. I never imagined being this teenage girl with such troublesome thoughts, messy exterior, or poor presentation. It has never occurred to me what sort of person I've grown up to be.
The little girl that spent every afternoon in the front yard of her grandmother's house is long gone. She used to play in her small corner of toys in the garage, day after day. Grandma was always busy with her own house chores and interests. Roofless, square houses with walls made out of Legos would always be laid out, ready for tomorrow's story. It didn't bother her that throughout the course of the day, her Grandma was her only companion in the empty house. Everyone was at work. They had to leave. She was the only child in the house then, but it didn't bother her. She spent most of the day lingering around, finding things to occupy herself with. Frequently, Grandma would share a short game of pretend with her, but she knew better than to insist. Her imagination and curious thoughts was her only entertainment. Near sunset, everyday, she would come out to the concrete ledge outside of Grandmother's house and linger until the first adult came up to the drive way. Grandpa was always first. On good days, he would buy her a random drink from the nearby Liquor store. It made her day. Any flavor, any drink, was fine. Sometimes, she wouldn't even drink it. She was content with the fact that she knew her Grandfather had thought of her on his way home from work. It wouldn't be a couple of hours later that her mother would start on the way home to work. No matter how late, she was always anxious for her to come home. The little girl loved her mother. Immediately after the whole family had finished dinner, she would make sure that her mother would go spend personal time with her in the room they shared. It was her favorite time. It was just them two, and that's how it was for awhile. At the time, her mother was all she knew. She was the person that understood her best. Nobody could ever match up to Mommy. Even so young, she knew how much Mommy had loved her. "No," was a word that was never used. The little girl always knew where her family stood. Although she knew that her mother would appease her requests, she never took advantage of her mother's love. She never demanded anything, she knew what was okay and what was not. No matter how much she wanted something, she would follow her mother's preference. She had always let her Mother's interests overshadow her own. The hardest part of the day was when Mommy had to go to work. Every morning, mommy would buy her a treat- as if it was to make up for her having to leave her little girl. Once mommy had left, she would listlessly wander around the house, trying to convince herself that the day would go by before she knew it. She knew enough to make the best of what she had. It was all that she knew. TV shows, songs or anything that mentioned Moms would make her miss own. If, in particular, she was missing her mother more than usual that day, she would look through picture albums or watch home videos of her past birthdays. It reassured and proved to her that, she was, indeed, loved.
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